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Written by Farinar

31 Mar 2010

5 bosses I'd like to see pull a 'Kael'Thas'

Here is my top five lists of bosses I'd like to return from the dead the same way that Kel'Thuzad, Baron Rivendare, Anub'Arak and most of all Kael'Thas did. So let's get to it!

Number 1 - Jaraxxus
This guy is fucking awesome. He bursts in, kills a gnome and then proceeds to summon a shitload of demons in front of the audience of the Argent Tournament. He is one my favorite fights in the entire game and his voice sounds so fucking evil and yet so cliché at the same time. It's a great fight, a great boss and a nice guy who always reminds you who you're facing. That's right: "You face Jaraxxus!"

Number 2 - Malygos
I don't think Malygos as a raid encounter was well executed in the game. You met him once outside of the raid instance but many people still had no fucking idea who he was. And that's a shame when you're dealing with a dragon aspect. When I heard that Malygos was gonna be a raid encounter I figured he'd be inside the Nexus, guarded by a shitload of blue dragons. But no.

He was a fucking one-man raid encounter and his defense was so weak that everyone could just step inside his raid and face him. No need to kill a few guards or a few bosses before him. Just Malygos. That sucks. I think Malygos deserves more than just that - perhaps we could even be joined by Alexstrasza to kill him. All we got was a lousy, piss-easy vehicle fight.

Number 3 - Drakuru
Okay, this guy is a boss for a quest but still - he's fucking brilliant. He is a troll deathknight and maintains his troll accent even in undeath which is hilarious. That and he is complete and utterly evil! He works for the Lich King and tricks the player into helping him. He is a manipulative bastard with a cool accent. We players finished him off in Zul'Drak.

I have a dream that one day Drakuru will return as a raid boss in the yet-to-be-announced Gundrak raid. He could be resurrected by a bunch of necromancers or something, I don't care, I just wanna fight him again because he's so awesome!

Number 4 - Argent Confessor Paletress
Have you heard her? Have you seen her!? If you haven't seen her, take a look at this:


Imagine fighting a girl dressed like that and upon landing a strike on her, hearing her scream as if she has a fucking orgasm! That alone qualifies her for this list. More orgasm bosses, Blizzard, please!

Number 5 - Nefarian
Nefarian was a pretty unique fight because he called out for different classes which had unique downsides for each class. It was insanely fun and a great fight. Luckily he actually returns in Cataclysm, so I won't write much about him. All that's left to say is: Let the games begin!

Nefarian fucking rules.

30 Mar 2010

Fur, furrier, furriest! (Furrydom Part 2 of 2)

Today's post is a bit short, but here is a picture of a kangaroo beating the shit out of an asian clown, so I hope you can forgive me.


"I'ma gonna beat you up, shitface kangaroo!"
"Haw haw haw, you asshole, don't you know that I rule!?"
"Awww shit!"

Actually, I think that there might be some furries that find kangaroos attractive. Let us look at their features: They walk on two legs and do human-stuff (boxing). They cannot talk, but wait a few centuries and they might as well be a furry's fucking wet dream.

I think I expressed in my last post that I think furrydom is weird if not actual bullshit. Based on some comments I got from various people, I will just notify you all that these articles are not meant to hurt anyone but just express what I think about a certain thing. I'm not furry-phobic (is that a word?) but I do have trouble understanding what other people like sexually - especially since I am a heterosexual myself.

What I will talk about today is the attitude that furries express. While I have nothing against them, they often tend to act like they're the fucking victims of everything. You said a bad thing about them? They'll be all up your ass and be pissed off at you. That is a fucking stupid attitude to have. It seems like they want to be discriminated against. If you make fun of them there won't be many minutes before they come back at you, telling you how they hate you for hating them. Grr.

It's like they're proud of being attracted to furry women (again, by furry women I do not mean 'down-there' but actually fucking furry women), and why shouldn't they!? You should always be proud of your sexuality and the way you are but it seems that this sexuality only exists among people with the following traits:

- Male
- Often obese
- Likes anime
- Speaks japanese despite not being fucking japanese (if they were japanese they'd marry their pillows or video game girlfriends instead of some fancy hairy pussy.)
- Age 20-40
- Lives and has lived in mother's basement
- Virgins

I think this kind of sexuality comes from anime and hentai. Yeah sure, japan has made some awesome stuff - Nintendo and cars, but the rest sucks. Anime is one of them. The 12-year old girls often wear such slutty suits that watching it is on the edge of child pornography which is pretty fucking disgusting. But the women are often big-breasted and has a tendency to get raped by tentacles and the most inappropiate moments. There is something sexy about these women which makes japanese men marry pillows on which they are depicted.

Here's a tip for you furries out there: Get the fuck laid, people!
That is just my two cents and now stop sending me fucking hate mails you furries!
God!

29 Mar 2010

The Fast and the Furriest (Furrydom Part 1 of 2)

This isn't about the god-awful movie series 'The Fast and the Furious' but instead about something that is even more fucking stupid: Furries.

Last time I wrote a little about a special fetish: Dragonrape. Apparantly, only one person in the world has this fetish, Knaak, and since, you know, it takes two people to tango but also two people to have sex, Richard A. Knaak must be a miserable man - he never gets to live out his dream of raping a fucking dragon in the ass. That sounded more creepy than I wanted it to.

Anyhow, today I change the subject a little. It doesn't have much to do with WoW but they exist in WoW and are about to have their biggest worg-asm when Cataclysm and the Worgen comes. I'm ofcourse talking about the furries!

So what is a furry exactly? Well, I'd say it's fucking stupid but what does wikipedia say?

"Furry fandom (also known as furrydom, fur fandom or furdom) refers to the fandom for fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics.Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes."

So, in comparison to Knaak (who I will call a 'scaly' - course, you know, dragons have scales) these people do not like dragonrape but instead having sex with furry animals that walk on two legs and have the ability to talk. Man, 'Disney's Robin Hood' must be like a freaking porn movie to them. Fuck, this is creepy. The pathetic thing is that, like Knaak, you are not able to ever fuck a fucking animal that talks and walks on two legs. When the hell have you ever seen one of those!?

Why does such people get turned on by this? Turned on by animals? I can understand that, they exist and you can see them in the real world. They are a physical thing that you can relate to. Turned on by humans? I can understand that because that is what fucking 99 % of the freaking globe likes! Combining the two makes no sense!

Ofcourse, sexuality is a strange subject and something that is hard to analyze. But still, I wonder how many people will orgasm when they see the tight ass on those female worgen. Not that I don't respect them, but come on! There are more exciting things in the world than cloth-wearing wolves or something! What exactly turns people on by these fucking things? Sure, some of them have good bodies, but they're fucking furry! They have loads and loads of hair! Some real life women also have a lot of fucking hair 'down-there' but that's nothing a shaver can't handle! But they don't have freaking animal-heads either!

So in order to get into the matter I decided to call my good friend, the famous and dead psychiatrist Sigmund Freud, who had this to say:

"Furries?! That's fuckin' stupid!"

I will cover more about the subject in my post tomorrow!
Until then, stay the fuck away from animal-people!

22 Mar 2010

Why Richard A. Knaak sucks big time!

For some reason, Blizzard always lets the Starcraft fanfic writer Richard A. Knaak write all their canon lore through the countless novels that exist about Warcraft. Day of the Dragon, Night of the Dragon, War of the Ancients and Stormrage are some of the horrors that he has on his mind. In most of them, the maincharacter is noone but Rhonin, the master of awesomeness.

Rhonin is a fucking Mary Sue.
So why is Rhonin so god-like awesome? Because he is a mage. With red hair. Who is able to summon raptors. Yes, you read it right, Rhonin can spawn fucking raptors. What the hell? What just happened to Blizzard lore?! Seriously, according to Knaak, Rhonin is the man: He fought Deathwing and saved Alexstrasza from capture, he fought in the War of the Ancients, he fought Twilight Dragons and now he leads the Kirin Tor in Dalaran. That doesn't make any sense! No lore character has been through that many different events! I bet Knaak just sat down on his fat ass and said: "Hmmm.. Wouldn't it be awesome if, like, Rhonin and Krasus went like, back in time to fight, like, The Burning Legion?"

He then probably spent the next 1½ hours to write the book. Or at least it seems so. The atmosphere is bland, the characters are uninteresting and everything is about the fucking blandest character in the World of Warcraft: Rhonin. I mean, come on! Gamon and Hogger has fucking more personality than him!

Here's an example of something that Knaak could've written:
"And then Rhonin and Krasus came to a small, circular glade. The grass was green and the birds were singing. Rhonin and Krasus sat down and had a picnic. And then oh-my-fucking-god an orc came in and ran for Rhonin! He cut off Rhonin's arms, legs and head. But that doesn't matter because Rhonin, like, could regenerate himself and sew his body back together perfectly. And then after he had done this he, like, summoned an army of raptors that killed and ate the orc. Rhonin then had sex with his wife Vereesa and had lots of awesome godlike babies."

Actually, I think I spent more time writing that bit than Knaak does writing an entire book.

Dragonfetish.
It seems like Knaak hates Warcraft. He uses every opportunity to fuck around with it. Even when he uses a lorecharacter like Malfurion he just turns the awesomeness that is Malfurion into a bland shape of nothingness. Do you really hate us this much, Knaak? Really? Even Deathwing, the bad-ass of doom became more of a "Haw haw haw! I are so evil!"-villain than the manipulative, deceptive bastard that he is.

Knaak has what I call a dragonfetish. He fucking loves dragons and he fucking loves sex. He combines the two and make them into dragonrape. "Tis is liek teh most awsum idea ev4r!". Okay, Knaak doesn't talk l33t, but it'd be fucking cool if he did. Seriously, half of Day of the Dragon is about Alexstrasza being raped in the ass to produce babydragons for the horde to use. That's what you wanna read, right?


Actually, as long as she is involved, I might read just the sex scenes. Rawr.

Not to mention that almost all dragonlore that exists is written by Knaak. Alexstrasza, Deathwing and the other aspects are pretty much invented by Knaak. I say "pretty much" because it only applies to their role in the lore, their personalities etc. Wait? Did I just say that Knaak invented their personalities? Well, they may be the only Knaak-characters that has a sense of personality. I won't begin on his dragonlore because some of it is allright and some it really sucks. It would take me forever to go through his dragonfetish.

- Farinar

18 Mar 2010

Patch 3.9: FUCKING GNOMAGEDDON!!

I'm sorry, this post does not contain Bruce Willis as a gnome. Sorry to disappoint you, but this blog is decicated to World of Warcraft not hollywood actors.

Instead, this is about the reclaiming of Gnomeregan! Fuck yeah! I've wanted the gnomes to reclaim their city for a long time and this seems like it will be a great event - we get to kick some green gnome-ass while reclaiming what could turn out to be one of the coolest places in the game.

Gelbin Mekkatorque is leading the attack known at 'Operation Gnomeregan' and we will fight Mekgineer Thermaplugg out of Gnomeregan and reclaim it as our own! Hey! Wait a minute? Didn't we beat the shit out of Thermaplugg already? Fuck yes, we did! What the hell!?

Yes, Thermaplugg just pulled a Kael'Thas, Anub'Arak and a Baron Rivendare and got resurrected even though we fucking killed him. That fucking sucks! Why does everyone have to return from the fucking dead, even despite the fact that we fucking cut off their heads? What kind of sense is that!

Not saying I am not looking forward to Operation Gnomeregan - because I think it will be the most awesome thing to happen in the history of the world (of Warcraft), but I still think they could have added a villain in another way than to mysteriously resurrect Thermaplugg! Thermaplugg could have a son or something! At least Kael'Thas announced that we 'hadn't really killed him and that he just pulled a prank on all of us adventurers' when you turned in the quest to A'dal. What is it with these adventurers? Are they not able to tell when someone is fucking dead!? It's better to stab a villain twice after he is dead than to run the risk of him surviving!

How did Blizzard manage to act like Thermaplugg's death never happened? They made him a fucking robot! That's right! The Thermaplugg that we fought was a robot! Smart move, Blizzard, it kind of makes sense since he is a gnome but story-wise it makes no sense. Why would he make robot-doubles of himself? To avoid being killed? The guy is insane for lord's sake and he is absolutely sure that he can kick the shit out of anyone! Why would he make a double in order to avoid getting killed!?

Another thing: Notice the title of this post? No, it's not a typo. The patch is fucking patch 3.9 and not patch 4.0 or 3.4 or whatever. Basically Blizzard just said "fuck 3.4 through 3.8" and went for 3.9. You can argue that it is to show that it is more of a prologue to Cataclysm than an epilogue to Wrath of the Lich King but it seems kind of dumb in my opinion. I really hope that Blizzard made a typo and fixes it so that it was actually in patch 3.3.9. That would make more sense. No need to break a good naming system with exceptions.

I'm worried that the 4.0-era will be like this:
4.0 - 4.5 - 4.2 - 4.8

I mean, if the numbers mean nothing then screw it, call it whatever you want! You can name it Henry or Bob! Imagine seeing that on the 'in development' site. If a previously good system means nothing you might as well totally fuck it up!

*Sigh* I guess you don't care. You just want to see Bruce Willis as a gnome, right? Here you go then:
Can't wait to kick in the doors of Gnomeregan and yell "Yippie-kay-fucking-yay motherfucker!"

Four fucked-up easter eggs

We all know 'em and we all love 'em - the in-game easter eggs! They're a great part of the atmosphere that Blizzard has created around the game and play a grand part in the humour that is Warcraft. However, some of them are weird and plain fucked-up so here are four that I think are fucked-up to a great degree.

Number 1: The Arcanist's Cookbook
A reference to 'The Anarchist's Cookbook', which was written as a protest to the Vietnam war and tells you how to create bombs, illegal items and other things that can help you destroy society. The book is fully legal, though. Freedom of speech at its best. So why is this fucked-up? Well, why does Blizzard reference a book which describes how you can fight society? Are Blizzard employees secretly fighting a war against society? Who knows. That would be awesome, though.

Number 2: Caregiver Ophera Windfury
A reference to everyone's favorite: Oprah Winfrey. She is a draenei who sits in Hellfire Peninsula asking players to 'make themselves confortable'. Typical Blizzard humor and I like this reference really much.

So why is this fucked up? Well, because she doesn't look like Oprah at all! First of all, she's a draenei which I guess is fair game. But she has white skin! Not to be racist or anything, but there are in fact darker skins for draenei in the game! They gave Oprah the Michael Jackson treatment! That is fucked up!

Oh, and there's this big difference as well:
Hot


Ehhh.. Not so much..

Number 3: 'The Mountain of LOL'
This one is fucking weird. The mountainside near Hammerfall is literally laughing up your face! What a rude mountainside! Take a look:

See? That's fuckin' rude! And it's fucked up! I don't think I need to explain why. Come on! It's a fucking LOL'ing mountain!

Number 4: Hindenburg
The Hindenburg was a grand airship that crashed and killed a lot of people! Unfortunately, the zeppelin master in Stranglethorn Vale is called Hin Denburg, which is pretty fucking scary! I've never ridden that zeppelin in fear of falling to my death! And neither should you! This is just scary and fucked-up!

"Oh, come on! It'll be alright!"

Fuck you, Hin Denburg. I'm not riding with you.

The Tale of Ephoenix

Settle down children, make yourselves comfortable and listen up for I have a tale to tell! This is a tale of a great hero, the conqueror of the phoenixes and a true champion of Azeroth. However, it is a tragic tale. Stay a while and listen..

Ezra Chatterton was a young lad who unfortunately had been struck by a viscious disease. However, a young boy like Ezra did not give up easily and kept doing what he loved: Being with his family and especially with his father with whom he shared a common interest: When they were in front of their computers they became great heroes! Travelling plains, fighting dragons and banishing demons.

Ezra became the great tauren champion, Ephoenix, one of the greatest hunters ever to live. He had fought his way through the armies of Ahn'Qiraj, Naxxramas, The Molten Core and Blackwing Lair in the ancient era now only known as "vanilla" and had entered Outland with intensions on destroying the Lord of Outland - Illidan Stormrage. However, Ephoenix would never make it that far.

Ezra fell very ill and great sadness fell upon Azeroth. Despite his illness, Ephoenix still travelled Azeroth but in time, his travels became less and less frequent. Ezra's father, Micah, pledged the gods that had created Azeroth - only known as Blizzard Entertainment - for help on how to make his son's last days better. And his prayers were heard.

Blizzard Entertainment invited the young boy to their realm - The Blizzard Entertainment Headquarters - by the help of a magical society known as the Make-a-wish Foundation. Ezra accepted the invitation and went off on a quest to the Blizzard Headquarters along with his father.

When he arrived, he was greeted and told that his travels throughout the world had made him known to Blizzard themselves. And even though they could not cure his illness, for it was very foul, they would allow him to change the world forever. They would make him immortal. Ezra thought that was really cool.

Ezra helped create a new character in the world he knew so well - a lone tauren farmer looking for his dog. Blizzard then told him that they would make him a champion, a person forever to be remembered. They handcrafted him a crossbow, specifically following the instructions of Ezra, and granted him a golden bird as a mount due to Ezra's middlename which was 'Phoenix'. And he truly was a phoenix. Reborn from the ashes.

When Ezra and Ephoenix passed away, great sorrow was spread through Azeroth. All over the world, people remembered the great hero that Ephoenix was. And he surprised them all. For during the Lunar Festival, he was reborn as one of the immortal Elders! Blessed by the gods of Blizzard Entertainment, Ezra and Ephoenix got bound together and became one being, rests on the Elder Rise during the festival to this day.


NOTE:
I do not intend to make fun of Ezra Chatterton or his story. I am merely telling the story in a different way. I think that the story is tragic and that no child should leave the world so soon. Rest in peace, Ezra and may you have WoW in heaven.

17 Mar 2010

I suck at PvP!

Kind of a short post this time:

Let me set one thing straight: I fucking suck at PvP. I'm more of a PvE guy than I'm a PvP guy. This may be due to the fact that I play as a healer priest and I am therefore the desired target of many a warrior. I may also just be unintelligent or stupid but I way better at figuring out what an artificial intelligence is gonna do than what a fellow human being is going to smack up my ass. This may be due to several addons that shows me what I can expect the boss to do so I know how to react. If a warrior begins bitchslapping me I have no idea what to do - no addons to tell me what I can expect. I'm left to myself and me figuring out for myself. That sucks.

Not saying that I don't like PvP. I think PvP is an essential part of the game and something that draws a lot of people in; Beat the hell out of people. I like the concept and the fact that this gives us the ability to interact with other people through war. I just suck at it and I usually try to stay away from it. I think this is due to my class being so weak on offensive that I cannot really do anything against a person that comes towards me.

I have a retribution paladin as well and I really like playing him in PvP. He rules and I think it's because it's a more "overpowered" class in PvP. At least, he's more overpowered than my priest. I know that as a priest I am not supposed to be offensive but I also have to defend myself and cannot rely on my teammates to protect me.

Please, Blizzard, make everyone able to survive for more than two seconds on PvP. I'd really like to PvP but I cannot survive long enough. Don't make it loleasy but provide us with a fair chance rather than the one that we healers have now - being bitchslapped by five people when I run over the hill. Because that sucks.

That is why I suck at PvP.

Lavaman does not equal Deathwing! (A Bolvar fan post)

*Hums* Lavaman, lavaman, does whatever a lavaman can! *Hums*



Bolvar, slayer of dragons
A lot of people have been suggesting the idea that Bolvar is the new alter ego of Deathwing due to his 'new' form as Lavaman. This idea is fucking stupid - how anyone in their right minds could think this up I have no idea because it is so far-fetched that it makes no sense.

While I am able to see why people would think that Lavaman could look like Deathwing's human form - AKA Lord Daval Prestor - due to the lava and shit that Bolvar has going on, I cannot grasp why people honestly THINK that he is Deathwing. There's a difference between looking a bit like Deathwing could look (in his human form that is) and actually being Deathwing himself. It's a big stretch.

There are a couple lore reasons as to why Bolvar is NOT Deathwing. First of all, it makes no fucking sense. It would be the biggest plot-twist in history if he turned out to be a villain. But right now, he's fucking frozen in a big block of ice! I know dragons can breathe fire and that he'd probably be able to melt the block of ice but it make no sense plot-wise if he was able to do that. What did he get turned into a block of ice if he would just melt it the next second? That makes no sense.

When it comes to lore, Bolvar has slain a lot of dragons. For example in the Onyxia questline where he beat the fuck out of a lot of black dragons. I know Deathwing's evil and all, but turning on his own dragonflight wouldn't be 'badass' or 'evil', it would just make him an asshole! Besides, if he really was Bolvar he would probably just have commanded them to stop by speaking draconic.

What would be even more asshole-ish is that he would actually help players hunt down Onyxia, his own daughter! I think that if Bolvar really was Deathwing, he would see her existance and her manipulation of Stormwind as a giant oppotunity.

Bolvar rules
And last but not least, Bolvar fucking rules. He's survived being gassed, burned and tortured. Now that's fucking badass. It's also the reason as to how he became Lavaman - not because he's a dragon, but because he actually got his ass burned! Bolvar kicked the shit of out Onyxia's dragons in Vanilla, he kicked the shit out of undeads at the Wrathgate but was unfortunately gassed. But he even survived that! If the jews were as badass as him during World War II noone would've died in the gas-chambers. (Okay, that was a little cruel).

After being gassed he got fucking burned and didn't die! The Lich King then dragged him through his ZOMGIANT citadel, all the way to the top. Here he was hung up and chained above the Frozen Throne only to be laughed at by the Lich King. He even saw his friend, Draenosh Saurfang turn into an undead. Not only is his body strong but his psyche is as well.

Bolvar for Lich King 2010.. Oh, wait.

16 Mar 2010

Obsidian Sanctum 2.0! FFFFFUUUUUUU!

Wow, how beautiful, how peaceful, how delightfully wonderful!
Blizzard has done it again - made a zone which is both beautiful, drawing and dramatic. Blizzard have really improved their style and sense of making zones and instances throughout the years. The looks and feel of this zone seems to be of a great caliber. There is just one problem: It's Obsidian Sanctum all over again!



Oh no, not this shit again!
Granted, I did Obsidian Sanctum more times than Tiger Woods did any of his mistresses (badum *tish*). Bad jokes aside, I thought that the instance was great and that the concept of 3 drakes was awesome. And it was. However, I grew tired of the instance and haven't been there for nearly half a year. I loathe the place with all my heart but I love dragons and I love fighting them.

So when I heard that the Ruby Sanctum was opening I was jumping up and down in excitement. Better than that, it was no red dragon we are slaying this time, oh no. It's a dangerous pink twilight dragon of DOOM! Hell yeah. Actually I have no idea why Deathwing created this flight to be pink. A bad joke perhaps?

Anyhow, I figured that another dragoninstance would be awesome and that it would make me return to Wyrmrest Temple. Until:

"Number 2. The lieutenants are sub-bosses which will each drop an Emblem of Frost. Halion is the main boss. While the activation of Heroic difficulty is different from the Obsidian Sanctum, the overall raid format for the Ruby Sanctum is very comparable.
You're likely to find some random pieces of armor on par with Lich King loot, similar to the items Onyxia dropped while Trial of the Crusader was the top-tier raid. You can also expect to see some more trinkets and things of that nature.
This raid will not only provide a bit of additional content to pair with the current content of patch 3.3, it will be the beginning of an advancement in the storyline for Cataclysm.
The plan is to have a normal mode and a heroic mode just like Icecrown Citadel, so far there is no plan for a Sartharion +1/+2/+3-like encounter."

Let's have that picture again.



Just as I thought I could get a quick, nice and awesome raid instance were I could go smack some pink dragon-ass, I get this. Fucking Obsidian Sanctum 2.0 Red version. Update: Sartharion is now pink! Screw. You. Blizzard.

I mean, if it had included a +1/+2/+3 drakes encounter it would've been alright, but this!? This is three minibosses that drop only emblems and a big boss that drops emblems and loot! Why are the minibosses there? For extra badges? I mean, they might as well just delete them, boost mr. Pinkdragon and smack the 3 frost badges on his loot table instead. It will be a waste of time to clear 3 bosses that drops nothing besides badges before engaging the final boss.

I mean, in Obsidian Sanctum the drakes at least had a function but here they're just here to look pretty! You can't use them for anything besides three badges that might as well have dropped from the boss! What purpose do they serve? I guess it's some lorething, but they could still have put them to better use than make them loot-pinatas for players that just want some easy badges. You could've made Mr. Pinkie a challenge instead!

Three bosses that serve no purpose. GG, Blizzard. GG.
I'm still looking forward to smacking some pink dragonass, though.

Five annoying people you will surely meet in a PuG

I've made a list of five different types of annoying people that you will surely meet at some point if you choose to PuG a dungeon or a raid.

Number 1: The Distressed Explorer
The distressed explorer freaking loves instances. At least he loves exploring them. What's in that hallway? What's behind that wall? He has to check and usually the answer is the same: A shitload of mobs ready to beat the shit out of him. The explorer is so curious about this new, epic place that he will always be the first person to run into the next room in order to to see it before everyone else. He was to be the first person to speak to a certain NPC to start an event, the first person to click an object, the first person to.. Slow down, dude.

I remember a group in Halls of Lightning back in 2008. After defeating Volkhan on heroic, we sat down to regain our mana after a tough fight. Our DPS whom we'll call "Brann" (after the other explorer) stormed into the next room with the statues. He managed to utter a tiny "oops" before being bitchslapped to death by a couple of raging ironvrykuls. To quote Kel'Thuzad: "Your curiousity will be the death of you!"
His answer as to why he ran in before the tank (a paladin) had regained any mana? "I just wanted to look!" Congratulations, Brann, you're our first of the annoying people.

Number 2: The Stressed Out Dude
"GOGOGO" is a line you'll usually hear in a PuG. The recent tendency to faceroll an entire instance has caused people to stress through the instance in order to get their frost badges as fast as possible. This usually results in a "GOGOGO!" without anyone in the group being ready. Not that not being ready is a problem in heroic dungeons nowadays but back in TBC this was a problem. You barely zone in before you see this guy fighting the first pair of mobs. Slow the fuck down!

These people do not slow down. They don't sit down and eat but run onward to get through the place as fast as possible. I once saw one of these stressed out dudes stop, though. He stopped right on the spot. He had disconnected. I think that is the only way to make these people stop and breathe for a second. It's always "GOGOGO" or "Hurry", "Quick", "Fast" or something along those lines. No respect for other people, stressing other people out just so he can get his frost badges two minutes sooner.

Number 3: The 12-year old swedish know-it-all.
You've just dinged 80 and you're ready to join your first heroic ever. Exciting. If he doesn't mention it right away just wait till you get a bit inside the instance and he will begin ranting. "Dude, your DPS sucks". I know, I just dinged 80. This guy has no mercy and will probably go on to tell you that your specc is wrong, your gear is wrong, your sockets are wrong and that you have smelly feet. Everything that he does, however, is perfect because that's just how he rolls. This is a person without any respect for people and one of those annoying "know-it-alls", even about classes he has never played or about bosses he has never killed.

He is the first person to call someone "noob" and the first person to initiate a kick of someone, often because he claims that the "noob" is wrong in everything he does. The noob got to level 80, you must assume he has some knowledge about his class?! I have a funny story here as well. This guy, whose name I can't remember but it was probably ending with -swe so we'll call him lolswe, joined our group and went directly for our retribution paladin DPS. "U suck. That chest is not good for u." He said that he knew but that it wasn't the best for him but that there were several stats on it that he could use. It helped him get hit-capped as well. "Fuck hitcap." Said the all-knowing lolswe. "u suck and ur talents are wrong", he continued. I checked his talents and they were alright, nothing truly bad about him. When the cooldown was over, lolswe, as the good and responsible leader that he is, initiated a kick of the retri paladin. I asked in partychat: "Why did you initiate a kick for the retri paladin?" He said: "He sucks and he does low dps." I pressed "no" to the kick and initiated a kick for lolswe instead. Lolswe, the all-knowing tome of knowledge, was kicked from his PuG while the badly geared, badly specced and horribly gemmed retri paladin noob remained.

Let people play how the fuck they want. There's a difference between helping people and being a dickhead. There's a difference between saying "u suck" and "Your DPS is not very high, have you considered switching out your chest or that talent?". Or, well, for a 12-year old swedish boy whose balls haven't dropped yet, there seems to be no difference.

Note: He might not be 12 or swedish so watch out for this guy - he comes in many disguises!

Number 4: The slacker (or in Darnassian: The AFK'er)
This is the type of person that has a tendency to either go AFK very often (mostly without saying anything about it) or just slack. Often he has great gear, good rotation and full epic gems but his DPS is still very low compared to what he can do. He slacks. Changing music while looking at porn and playing WoW is a good way to keep attention. This sucks. Not for him but for the group, especially the AFK part. But it also gets both annoying and confusing when he doesn't run out of the fire because he doesn't pay attention.

Learn to say "BRB" for heaven's sake! It takes 2 seconds! And learn to pay attention and run out of the fire you bastard!

Number 5: The Ninja
"I need this for os kk?" Ehhh.. Sure for me. If it wasn't for the fact that you're a druid and just rolled on a set of plate leggings. Yes, this is the "ninja" or the gear-junkie as I like to call them. The type of people that gets an orgasm by obtaining a new piece of loot, even if they cannot use it. It's not about the loot itself, screw that I have enough, but it's more about the ethics. Basically, what you're doing is stealing and God is very angry at you.

If you're gonna ninja, I'm not gonna stop you but it's really annoying to lose a DE-shard because you need to get an erection from getting a piece of loot. My ethics are very much against this type of person - especially if they take items that they cannot use (such as in a stamina trinket for a healer shaman) and uses it - just to piss us off. You're not cool, you're not smart. You're perhaps the most stupid person I know. How low can you go - stealing in a video game? Come on! Grow some!



Those were my 5 annoying PuG-types and the ones that piss me off the most. Now you're saying "why aren't noobs mentioned?". Well, in my opinion these people are the real noobs, the losers of life. The noobs you're thinking of are the badly geared, badly playing noobs. They enjoy the game so let's just let them enjoy it. These people know what they're doing. They're just annoying, either because they have potential for more if they pulled a finger out of their ass or because they think they're the smartest persons in the world (of Warcraft).

Triple the talents, triple the fun?

Inconvenience solved.
So I've heard a lot of people complaining lately about wanting the ability to specc a third specc in addition to the two we are already able to specc after patch 3.1. Patch 3.1 brought us the dual-specializations and it was a pretty big feature and perhaps one the biggest changes in the history of the game. Before that, you had to respecc every time you wanted to take on another role or wanted to go from PvE to PvP. It was inconvenient, took a lot of time and was frustrating. But it was a core function of the game.

Don't get me wrong, talents and glyphs are more important than ever and the ability to take on several roles is a really nice feature but I just feel that the vision of 'choice' is slowly fading away. Dual-talents allowed people to store their talent-speccs for quick and easy change and still had a sense of choice to connected to it since there are three talent trees but only two speccs that you are able to save. Which of your talent-trees means the most to you? It was your choice.

The idea of choice over convenience
Choice is one of the essences of a game like World of Warcraft. From the beginning of the game you're faced with choices as you select your race and class. However, I feel like the choices you can make in this game are slowly fading away only to be replaced with the fabled 'convenience'.

Not saying that the game shouldn't be convenient on many points - anything that saves us time gives us time to enjoy the game even more, but I think that the inclusion of a triple-specc choice would ruin the sense of choice when it comes to talents. Sure, it would be convenient for me to have a holy, discipline and shadow specc on my priest, but where would the choice be? Ofcourse I would have to choose what talents I wanted but since many, for example, holy priests are specced in almost the same way these days, the choice of talents seem to be decreasing. That means that if I want a holy, a discipline and a shadow spec on my priest I would just go wit the best holy-specc, the best disc-specc and the best shadow-specc. I would be specced for everything, leaving the choice out of the decision.

With only two avaiable speccs the choice has to be made - what means the most? Holy for PvE, Discipline for PvP or shadow for DPS? What do you prefer? You made the wrong choice? You have to respecc one of your trees - choose which of your trees has the biggest priority. Having the ability to specc triple-specc would make me suitable for every situation and thereby decrease the idea of choice even more.

Farinar out.
All opinions in the post are mine only.