Fur, furrier, furriest! (Furrydom Part 2 of 2)

Today's post is a bit short, but here is a picture of a kangaroo beating the shit out of an asian clown, so I hope you can forgive me.

"I'ma gonna beat you up, shitface kangaroo!"

"Haw haw haw, you asshole, don't you know that I rule!?"

"Awww shit!"

Actually, I think that there might be some furries that find kangaroos attractive. Let us look at their features: They walk on two legs and do human-stuff (boxing). They cannot talk, but wait a few centuries and they might as well be a furry's fucking wet dream.

I think I expressed in my last post that I think furrydom is weird if not actual bullshit. Based on some comments I got from various people, I will just notify you all that these articles are not meant to hurt anyone but just express what I think about a certain thing. I'm not furry-phobic (is that a word?) but I do have trouble understanding what other people like sexually - especially since I am a heterosexual myself.

What I will talk about today is the attitude that furries express. While I have nothing against them, they often tend to act like they're the fucking victims of everything. You said a bad thing about them? They'll be all up your ass and be pissed off at you. That is a fucking stupid attitude to have. It seems like they want to be discriminated against. If you make fun of them there won't be many minutes before they come back at you, telling you how they hate you for hating them. Grr.

It's like they're proud of being attracted to furry women (again, by furry women I do not mean 'down-there' but actually fucking furry women), and why shouldn't they!? You should always be proud of your sexuality and the way you are but it seems that this sexuality only exists among people with the following traits:

- Male
- Often obese
- Likes anime
- Speaks japanese despite not being fucking japanese (if they were japanese they'd marry their pillows or video game girlfriends instead of some fancy hairy pussy.)
- Age 20-40
- Lives and has lived in mother's basement
- Virgins

I think this kind of sexuality comes from anime and hentai. Yeah sure, japan has made some awesome stuff - Nintendo and cars, but the rest sucks. Anime is one of them. The 12-year old girls often wear such slutty suits that watching it is on the edge of child pornography which is pretty fucking disgusting. But the women are often big-breasted and has a tendency to get raped by tentacles and the most inappropiate moments. There is something sexy about these women which makes japanese men marry pillows on which they are depicted.

Here's a tip for you furries out there: Get the fuck laid, people!
That is just my two cents and now stop sending me fucking hate mails you furries!
God!

The Fast and the Furriest (Furrydom Part 1 of 2)

This isn't about the god-awful movie series 'The Fast and the Furious' but instead about something that is even more fucking stupid: Furries.

Last time I wrote a little about a special fetish: Dragonrape. Apparantly, only one person in the world has this fetish, Knaak, and since, you know, it takes two people to tango but also two people to have sex, Richard A. Knaak must be a miserable man - he never gets to live out his dream of raping a fucking dragon in the ass. That sounded more creepy than I wanted it to.

Anyhow, today I change the subject a little. It doesn't have much to do with WoW but they exist in WoW and are about to have their biggest worg-asm when Cataclysm and the Worgen comes. I'm ofcourse talking about the furries!

So what is a furry exactly? Well, I'd say it's fucking stupid but what does wikipedia say?

"Furry fandom (also known as furrydom, fur fandom or furdom) refers to the fandom for fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics.Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes."

So, in comparison to Knaak (who I will call a 'scaly' - course, you know, dragons have scales) these people do not like dragonrape but instead having sex with furry animals that walk on two legs and have the ability to talk. Man, 'Disney's Robin Hood' must be like a freaking porn movie to them. Fuck, this is creepy. The pathetic thing is that, like Knaak, you are not able to ever fuck a fucking animal that talks and walks on two legs. When the hell have you ever seen one of those!?

Why does such people get turned on by this? Turned on by animals? I can understand that, they exist and you can see them in the real world. They are a physical thing that you can relate to. Turned on by humans? I can understand that because that is what fucking 99 % of the freaking globe likes! Combining the two makes no sense!

Ofcourse, sexuality is a strange subject and something that is hard to analyze. But still, I wonder how many people will orgasm when they see the tight ass on those female worgen. Not that I don't respect them, but come on! There are more exciting things in the world than cloth-wearing wolves or something! What exactly turns people on by these fucking things? Sure, some of them have good bodies, but they're fucking furry! They have loads and loads of hair! Some real life women also have a lot of fucking hair 'down-there' but that's nothing a shaver can't handle! But they don't have freaking animal-heads either!

So in order to get into the matter I decided to call my good friend, the famous and dead psychiatrist Sigmund Freud, who had this to say:

"Furries?! That's fuckin' stupid!"

I will cover more about the subject in my post tomorrow!
Until then, stay the fuck away from animal-people!

Why Richard A. Knaak sucks big time!

For some reason, Blizzard always lets the Starcraft fanfic writer Richard A. Knaak write all their canon lore through the countless novels that exist about Warcraft. Day of the Dragon, Night of the Dragon, War of the Ancients and Stormrage are some of the horrors that he has on his mind. In most of them, the maincharacter is noone but Rhonin, the master of awesomeness.

Rhonin is a fucking Mary Sue.
So why is Rhonin so god-like awesome? Because he is a mage. With red hair. Who is able to summon raptors. Yes, you read it right, Rhonin can spawn fucking raptors. What the hell? What just happened to Blizzard lore?! Seriously, according to Knaak, Rhonin is the man: He fought Deathwing and saved Alexstrasza from capture, he fought in the War of the Ancients, he fought Twilight Dragons and now he leads the Kirin Tor in Dalaran. That doesn't make any sense! No lore character has been through that many different events! I bet Knaak just sat down on his fat ass and said: "Hmmm.. Wouldn't it be awesome if, like, Rhonin and Krasus went like, back in time to fight, like, The Burning Legion?"

He then probably spent the next 1½ hours to write the book. Or at least it seems so. The atmosphere is bland, the characters are uninteresting and everything is about the fucking blandest character in the World of Warcraft: Rhonin. I mean, come on! Gamon and Hogger has fucking more personality than him!

Here's an example of something that Knaak could've written:
"And then Rhonin and Krasus came to a small, circular glade. The grass was green and the birds were singing. Rhonin and Krasus sat down and had a picnic. And then oh-my-fucking-god an orc came in and ran for Rhonin! He cut off Rhonin's arms, legs and head. But that doesn't matter because Rhonin, like, could regenerate himself and sew his body back together perfectly. And then after he had done this he, like, summoned an army of raptors that killed and ate the orc. Rhonin then had sex with his wife Vereesa and had lots of awesome godlike babies."

Actually, I think I spent more time writing that bit than Knaak does writing an entire book.

Dragonfetish.
It seems like Knaak hates Warcraft. He uses every opportunity to fuck around with it. Even when he uses a lorecharacter like Malfurion he just turns the awesomeness that is Malfurion into a bland shape of nothingness. Do you really hate us this much, Knaak? Really? Even Deathwing, the bad-ass of doom became more of a "Haw haw haw! I are so evil!"-villain than the manipulative, deceptive bastard that he is.

Knaak has what I call a dragonfetish. He fucking loves dragons and he fucking loves sex. He combines the two and make them into dragonrape. "Tis is liek teh most awsum idea ev4r!". Okay, Knaak doesn't talk l33t, but it'd be fucking cool if he did. Seriously, half of Day of the Dragon is about Alexstrasza being raped in the ass to produce babydragons for the horde to use. That's what you wanna read, right?

Actually, as long as she is involved, I might read just the sex scenes. Rawr.

Not to mention that almost all dragonlore that exists is written by Knaak. Alexstrasza, Deathwing and the other aspects are pretty much invented by Knaak. I say "pretty much" because it only applies to their role in the lore, their personalities etc. Wait? Did I just say that Knaak invented their personalities? Well, they may be the only Knaak-characters that has a sense of personality. I won't begin on his dragonlore because some of it is allright and some it really sucks. It would take me forever to go through his dragonfetish.

- Farinar

Patch 3.9: FUCKING GNOMAGEDDON!!

I'm sorry, this post does not contain Bruce Willis as a gnome. Sorry to disappoint you, but this blog is decicated to World of Warcraft not hollywood actors.

Instead, this is about the reclaiming of Gnomeregan! Fuck yeah! I've wanted the gnomes to reclaim their city for a long time and this seems like it will be a great event - we get to kick some green gnome-ass while reclaiming what could turn out to be one of the coolest places in the game.

Gelbin Mekkatorque is leading the attack known at 'Operation Gnomeregan' and we will fight Mekgineer Thermaplugg out of Gnomeregan and reclaim it as our own! Hey! Wait a minute? Didn't we beat the shit out of Thermaplugg already? Fuck yes, we did! What the hell!?

Yes, Thermaplugg just pulled a Kael'Thas, Anub'Arak and a Baron Rivendare and got resurrected even though we fucking killed him. That fucking sucks! Why does everyone have to return from the fucking dead, even despite the fact that we fucking cut off their heads? What kind of sense is that!

Not saying I am not looking forward to Operation Gnomeregan - because I think it will be the most awesome thing to happen in the history of the world (of Warcraft), but I still think they could have added a villain in another way than to mysteriously resurrect Thermaplugg! Thermaplugg could have a son or something! At least Kael'Thas announced that we 'hadn't really killed him and that he just pulled a prank on all of us adventurers' when you turned in the quest to A'dal. What is it with these adventurers? Are they not able to tell when someone is fucking dead!? It's better to stab a villain twice after he is dead than to run the risk of him surviving!

How did Blizzard manage to act like Thermaplugg's death never happened? They made him a fucking robot! That's right! The Thermaplugg that we fought was a robot! Smart move, Blizzard, it kind of makes sense since he is a gnome but story-wise it makes no sense. Why would he make robot-doubles of himself? To avoid being killed? The guy is insane for lord's sake and he is absolutely sure that he can kick the shit out of anyone! Why would he make a double in order to avoid getting killed!?

Another thing: Notice the title of this post? No, it's not a typo. The patch is fucking patch 3.9 and not patch 4.0 or 3.4 or whatever. Basically Blizzard just said "fuck 3.4 through 3.8" and went for 3.9. You can argue that it is to show that it is more of a prologue to Cataclysm than an epilogue to Wrath of the Lich King but it seems kind of dumb in my opinion. I really hope that Blizzard made a typo and fixes it so that it was actually in patch 3.3.9. That would make more sense. No need to break a good naming system with exceptions.

I'm worried that the 4.0-era will be like this:
4.0 - 4.5 - 4.2 - 4.8

I mean, if the numbers mean nothing then screw it, call it whatever you want! You can name it Henry or Bob! Imagine seeing that on the 'in development' site. If a previously good system means nothing you might as well totally fuck it up!

*Sigh* I guess you don't care. You just want to see Bruce Willis as a gnome, right? Here you go then:

Can't wait to kick in the doors of Gnomeregan and yell "Yippie-kay-fucking-yay motherfucker!"