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Written by Farinar

16 Mar 2010

Five annoying people you will surely meet in a PuG

I've made a list of five different types of annoying people that you will surely meet at some point if you choose to PuG a dungeon or a raid.

Number 1: The Distressed Explorer
The distressed explorer freaking loves instances. At least he loves exploring them. What's in that hallway? What's behind that wall? He has to check and usually the answer is the same: A shitload of mobs ready to beat the shit out of him. The explorer is so curious about this new, epic place that he will always be the first person to run into the next room in order to to see it before everyone else. He was to be the first person to speak to a certain NPC to start an event, the first person to click an object, the first person to.. Slow down, dude.

I remember a group in Halls of Lightning back in 2008. After defeating Volkhan on heroic, we sat down to regain our mana after a tough fight. Our DPS whom we'll call "Brann" (after the other explorer) stormed into the next room with the statues. He managed to utter a tiny "oops" before being bitchslapped to death by a couple of raging ironvrykuls. To quote Kel'Thuzad: "Your curiousity will be the death of you!"
His answer as to why he ran in before the tank (a paladin) had regained any mana? "I just wanted to look!" Congratulations, Brann, you're our first of the annoying people.

Number 2: The Stressed Out Dude
"GOGOGO" is a line you'll usually hear in a PuG. The recent tendency to faceroll an entire instance has caused people to stress through the instance in order to get their frost badges as fast as possible. This usually results in a "GOGOGO!" without anyone in the group being ready. Not that not being ready is a problem in heroic dungeons nowadays but back in TBC this was a problem. You barely zone in before you see this guy fighting the first pair of mobs. Slow the fuck down!

These people do not slow down. They don't sit down and eat but run onward to get through the place as fast as possible. I once saw one of these stressed out dudes stop, though. He stopped right on the spot. He had disconnected. I think that is the only way to make these people stop and breathe for a second. It's always "GOGOGO" or "Hurry", "Quick", "Fast" or something along those lines. No respect for other people, stressing other people out just so he can get his frost badges two minutes sooner.

Number 3: The 12-year old swedish know-it-all.
You've just dinged 80 and you're ready to join your first heroic ever. Exciting. If he doesn't mention it right away just wait till you get a bit inside the instance and he will begin ranting. "Dude, your DPS sucks". I know, I just dinged 80. This guy has no mercy and will probably go on to tell you that your specc is wrong, your gear is wrong, your sockets are wrong and that you have smelly feet. Everything that he does, however, is perfect because that's just how he rolls. This is a person without any respect for people and one of those annoying "know-it-alls", even about classes he has never played or about bosses he has never killed.

He is the first person to call someone "noob" and the first person to initiate a kick of someone, often because he claims that the "noob" is wrong in everything he does. The noob got to level 80, you must assume he has some knowledge about his class?! I have a funny story here as well. This guy, whose name I can't remember but it was probably ending with -swe so we'll call him lolswe, joined our group and went directly for our retribution paladin DPS. "U suck. That chest is not good for u." He said that he knew but that it wasn't the best for him but that there were several stats on it that he could use. It helped him get hit-capped as well. "Fuck hitcap." Said the all-knowing lolswe. "u suck and ur talents are wrong", he continued. I checked his talents and they were alright, nothing truly bad about him. When the cooldown was over, lolswe, as the good and responsible leader that he is, initiated a kick of the retri paladin. I asked in partychat: "Why did you initiate a kick for the retri paladin?" He said: "He sucks and he does low dps." I pressed "no" to the kick and initiated a kick for lolswe instead. Lolswe, the all-knowing tome of knowledge, was kicked from his PuG while the badly geared, badly specced and horribly gemmed retri paladin noob remained.

Let people play how the fuck they want. There's a difference between helping people and being a dickhead. There's a difference between saying "u suck" and "Your DPS is not very high, have you considered switching out your chest or that talent?". Or, well, for a 12-year old swedish boy whose balls haven't dropped yet, there seems to be no difference.

Note: He might not be 12 or swedish so watch out for this guy - he comes in many disguises!

Number 4: The slacker (or in Darnassian: The AFK'er)
This is the type of person that has a tendency to either go AFK very often (mostly without saying anything about it) or just slack. Often he has great gear, good rotation and full epic gems but his DPS is still very low compared to what he can do. He slacks. Changing music while looking at porn and playing WoW is a good way to keep attention. This sucks. Not for him but for the group, especially the AFK part. But it also gets both annoying and confusing when he doesn't run out of the fire because he doesn't pay attention.

Learn to say "BRB" for heaven's sake! It takes 2 seconds! And learn to pay attention and run out of the fire you bastard!

Number 5: The Ninja
"I need this for os kk?" Ehhh.. Sure for me. If it wasn't for the fact that you're a druid and just rolled on a set of plate leggings. Yes, this is the "ninja" or the gear-junkie as I like to call them. The type of people that gets an orgasm by obtaining a new piece of loot, even if they cannot use it. It's not about the loot itself, screw that I have enough, but it's more about the ethics. Basically, what you're doing is stealing and God is very angry at you.

If you're gonna ninja, I'm not gonna stop you but it's really annoying to lose a DE-shard because you need to get an erection from getting a piece of loot. My ethics are very much against this type of person - especially if they take items that they cannot use (such as in a stamina trinket for a healer shaman) and uses it - just to piss us off. You're not cool, you're not smart. You're perhaps the most stupid person I know. How low can you go - stealing in a video game? Come on! Grow some!

Those were my 5 annoying PuG-types and the ones that piss me off the most. Now you're saying "why aren't noobs mentioned?". Well, in my opinion these people are the real noobs, the losers of life. The noobs you're thinking of are the badly geared, badly playing noobs. They enjoy the game so let's just let them enjoy it. These people know what they're doing. They're just annoying, either because they have potential for more if they pulled a finger out of their ass or because they think they're the smartest persons in the world (of Warcraft).

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